Learning to Swim

Living in Florida with pools, ponds, and beaches, we wanted to make sure our sons knew how to swim and be safe around water.  When I was pregnant with our second son, I figured it was time for the first, at almost 16 months, to learn how to swim.   First, I  made sure he was comfortable with water besides when in the bath tub.  We did this with various sizes of children's pools over time.

 
Once he reached his comfort zone, we advanced to a real in-the-ground pool.

The technique I used to teach the basic safety moves for accidentally falling into a pool had several steps. I would get each son comfort in the water by slowly moving him around with support under his belly.

Then, I would slowly move him back and forth from me to a friend.

After that seemed to be okay with him, I would hold him facing me and blow gently in his face so he would take a breath of air.  Then, I would gently pull him down under the water and up to me.

Once he grasped the concept of taking a breath of air before going under water, I would turn him around and lift his bottom so he went to the side wall of the pool.  I would make sure he grabbed the side before I removed my hand.  This went on until he could go under and get himself to the side.  The purpose of this was so he would know to get air and shut his mouth and be able to get to the side or find something to hold on to if he ever fell into a pool. He slowly learned to dog paddle and to swim underwater.  Each enjoyed swimming underwater on top of Dad, and jumping off the side to me.

After dog and pool sitting for friends, it appeared all three loved the water.

Using that as our guideline, we put in an above-the-ground pool and built a deck, walkway, and stairs so we could safely use it.  We did put up railings, but did not enclose underneath since it was such a cool place for our dog to lay on those hot days.

We stopped at a lot of water parks on our way to visit relatives in the summer, so it was a handy skill for them to have.  Our oldest was on the high school swim team, the youngest taught paddle boarding and was a white water rafting guide, and the middle just enjoys swimming, so knowing how to swim has been a life-long pleasure for all three. To have that respect for water without the fear was accomplished by taking time to teach them what they needed to know. My method worked for us and we have used it with others successful.  Try it out! 

Climbing on the Way to Walking

Babies usually go through many steps before they actually walk. Once they learn to turn over and back, they learn to scoot and pull themselves across the floor and up, get on their knees and rock, crawl, cruise around the furniture, climb, and eventually walk.  In one of my college courses, I learned that a man named Damon (Delacodo?) was credited with research indicating that these steps were vital in the development of pathways in the brain that influenced the development in many areas.  I have been unable to locate his name in my current research, but according to Anne H. Zachry, a pediatric occupational therapist, in "Why is crawling developmentally important?", there is growing evidence that crawling plays a role in the development of the infant's strength, balance, spinal alignment, visual-spatial skills, and socio-emotional development. Truthfully, all these steps are important in the journey to maturation of body and skills.

Armed with this knowledge from college, I did my best to encourage these interim steps toward walking.  I did use a Johnny Jump-up, bouncy infant seat, and wind-up swing for the times when I could not let them "roam free," but the Jump-up helped in strengthening and muscle development, and all kept them safe from harm while I cooked dinner, folded clothes, or performed other chores which could be done with them in sight.

But once free to move around, they really enjoyed themselves. They would pull themselves up and cruise around in their crib.



I found what they really enjoyed doing was to climb. They would pull themselves up on furniture,

climb the sofa,

front door,

chairs,

shelves and bookcases,

even the dog - who managed to do her share of climbing as well - and of course on Dad!

We did our best to keep everyone safe as they explored and enjoyed their environment on their way to walking. This may be why the climbing desire stayed with them as they grew older. You may find the youngest rock climbing or as a belayer at the rock wall at REI in Seattle.  All are still physically active and healthy.

And to think, it all began with the basic steps in learning how to walk!

Infant Lessons

Just as each delivery is different, each infant is different.  My sons each reached milestones in different orders.  One walked early, one talked early, and one cut his teeth early. This taught me that you need not worry if your child doesn't do the same as your friends' children or his or her own siblings. It is not a competition!  Your pediatrician should know if there is an unusual delay in certain skills and is a good guide if you have concerns. My generation parented using Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care but there are many excellent sources available in books, magazines, and online.

Weight is an area where there seems to be competition among mothers. My sons were all on the low side of the average "normal" weight so they never looked pudgy.

My mom and others were concerned but the pediatrician said they were healthy and not to worry.  Their paths to food began with breast milk, then formula, next 2% milk since the pediatrician felt the calories were needed but not the fat content, and then baby food.  Because my doctor believed the baby's system needed to be ready to sleep through the night before introducing solids, it was several months before they even got cereal. Then I used a baby food grinder on foods such as peas, cooked chicken livers, cooked apples and peaches, any foods that were used in commercial baby foods.  With three children in three years, every way I could quickly and economically feed them was utilized!

My first son's pediatrician did not believe in giving more than one inoculation at a time.  Even the oral polio vaccine was given singly without any other. I believe this may be a solution for those parents who are concerned about the effects of vaccinations. His belief was that regardless of how it was introduced, each vaccine impacted the body in some way or it wasn't effective. Therefore, one at a time seemed less risky.

My husband had made a beautiful large cradle that could unlock and swing.

We used that for the first until the second came.  We purchased a large crib and moved him to it before son two arrived to prevent any sense of displacement! (Notice how the stuffed animals have their own living quarters!)

Sleeping for three children no longer in cribs in a three bedroom house was eventually accomplished  by making one room a dorm room and another a play room.  My husband made basic box beds with three drawers under the mattress base.

They were very practical beds and fit along three walls of the room. The forth wall had a dresser with a lamp, record player, and clock radio.  The play room had low, sturdy shelves with tubs of the various toys, a child-size table and chairs, a car path mat, desk, and at times a tent among other things.

Toy boxes built by their dad moved from the living area to the playroom.

We spent a lot of time in there together as well as individually.  It lead for a lot of creative activity and made the rest of the house neater since their toys had "their own home."

Bath time was always fun.  With one child, I had no problem keeping him entertained so he enjoyed his time in the water.  When son two came, I would bath him when son one was sleeping until they both were big enough for the bath tub.  Then we used finger paint suitable for the tub, and bubbles for making beards and mustaches.

 When son three arrived, I bought my sons baby dolls that could be washed and fed. When it was time to bath the youngest, I would announce "bath time" and they would get their babies.  We each had a basin and would bath our babies at the same time.  Same with feeding time, except I had to explain to them that they needed to use the baby bottles while I nursed! My sons learned a sense of tenderness and caring that has helped them in their relationships with others so playing with dolls was never an issue. Even when we got our dog, the dolls were just part of their toy and animal collections.

We used clothes passed down from sisters and friends along with the baby shower gifts. Gently used, church, thrift, and consignment shops are also good sources for baby clothes.  I successfully removed mulberry stains from one outfit by boiling it!

One idea my friends and I capitalized on as we raised our children was a baby sitting co-op. Each joining member received 15 index cards stamped with a baby themed stamp. Depending on how many children you were having a member babysit, you would pay for the time with a certain number of these cards.  If you were low on cards, you needed to baby sit a member's child to increase your supply.  No money was exchanged and it gave the children a chance to play with each other.  I used it to be able to take one child to the doctor without having the others there, grocery shop or make an appointment for myself. What a lifesaver!

The infant stage was an enjoyable stage and we have fond memories!

The Baby's Coming!

We all have our delivery stories which we share like hunters discuss their conquests!  I believe part of this is to make the experience a positive one so that we are willing to have another, and part is to receive some acknowledgement for all the effort.
My first son came one week after I went on maternity leave and two weeks before his due date.  My water broke and the doctor said to come in.  This wasn't my doctor whom I had been going to since age 21, but his standby because he was on vacation!  The doctor gave me something for the pain which burned up my arm and knocked me out.  I remember he and the nurse waking me up to push and my asking them to tell the lady screaming to shut up, to which the nurse replied that the screamer was me. The next thing I remember was the nurse pushing on my abdominal area causing me to ask, "Haven't I had this baby yet?"  She said, "Yes, you had a son. I am just making sure you expelled the afterbirth." I was pushed to my room and put in a bed.  After I slept, I awakened to the need to relieve myself.  I sat up and immediately got a horrible headache.  I rang for a nurse who brought me a bed pan and instructed me not to get up since they had given me a spinal, not knowing I would be out for the entire delivery. She left, and it took a considerable amount of time to get any of the various workers who entered and left my room to remove the bed pan.  Apparently, it wasn't in any of their job descriptions!
After three days, I was released to go home.  When my husband went to the clerk to finalize our leaving, she said that our son was not released and must stay. Panic! With much effort to locate a nurse or our doctor to explain, we were told that our son was jaundice and his bilirubin count was too high. They would keep him over night under blue lights, a form of photo-therapy, to get the count down.  As they explained to me, it is not uncommon after two or three days for a baby to be jaundice because of being breast fed, or premature, or due to a blood type mismatch between mother and child. Three for three, so he had to stay and I left with my husband and my "spinal headache."
I pumped my breast milk every few hours during the night and awoke to a call from our pediatrician around 6:30. He had received a call from the hospital's pediatrician that our son had projectile vomited during the night and they had suspected and started treatment for meningitis. This means, best case scenario, he will get better after 13 days of treatment, or worst case, he would die. At this point, I am in tears.  The doctor was heading to the hospital and said he would call us when he got there. Once there, the doctor called to say that our son was heartily sucking on his finger, and was fine, so to get there and nurse him.
Consequently, because they had started treatment, our firstborn had to stay in the hospital for the full thirteen days, and my husband and I went there two to three times a day so I could nurse him. (The rest of the time, he was to be fed the breast milk I continued to extract, but some slipped in formula.) Taking my baby out of the incubator with all the IV and other wires and holding him was awkward but worth it.  We needed to maintain our bonding and I wanted him to get all the benefits of breast milk, and we missed him!  If I had not been dealing with the spinal headache and he were in a room where I could stay, I would have been there all the time.  But that was not allowed.  After a few days, we arrived to find half our son's thick head of hair shaved and an IV inserted because he kept pulling it out.  Natural action for a baby boy! Don't know why I never had them shave off the rest of his hair.

Finally he was released and we could get into a normal routine.  He was such a joy that seven months later, my husband said he would like to try for another.  We stopped using protection and were successful right a way!

Because we had moved after the first son, the second and third sons were born in Florida.  Son number two's birth was so easy compared to the first.  At the end of an evening out with friends, I had what I thought was another Braxton Hicks contraction since it was two weeks from the due date. I went to bed and awoke around 3:30 AM with constipation cramps.  I went to the bathroom and realized when the cramps didn't leave after a bowel movement that I might be in labor.  I woke my husband who grabbed our son while I grabbed my bag.  When we arrived at the hospital, a nurse took me up to be examined while my husband and son waited.  Turns out I was fully dilated and ready to deliver. One nurse told me not to push but the urge was intense. (Are you hearing Prissy from Gone With the Wind saying, "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!")  Believe me, my face showed the terror, but the second nurse said to go ahead and push since she had delivered babies before. Then the doctor walked in, took a quick look, and told me to push.  Son two was born!  It was around one hour from when I awoke until he arrived, with 30 minutes of that in the hospital and two minutes of that with the doctor!  The doctor called down to let me speak with my husband, but he wasn't there. Son one had his own bowel movement and we hadn't grab diapers when we left.  As the hospital only had newborn sizes, they had gone home to change diapers thinking I would be awhile! I called him at home and when he answered, I began crying. He asked what was wrong and I shared that we had another son! Our son was very healthy but did have crooked legs due to how I carried him.  That was easily corrected with casts for a short span of time.

Raising two sons so close in age was not really difficult.  In fact, as I was soon approaching 30, we decided to try for a girl.  I had read all this literature on encouraging the female sperm and discouraging the male sperm.  I did the diet, douche, position, and timing and son number three was conceived!  His delivery was not as quick as son number two because he was only 6 days early and therefore a larger baby.  But I was able to have the delivery again without drugs so I could take care of three babies born in three years!  Sons two and three both had the same jaundice and high bilirubin count as son one.  However, since babies only stayed in the hospital one day as compared to the three from before, the pediatricians just kept an eye on them.  Funny incident with son three was the visit by our pediatrician in the hospital.  He had three daughters and knew I had been trying for one.  His comment when he saw me was, "I have just seen your daughter.  She is doing fine, and I will circumcise her tomorrow!" You have to laugh!

Having three boys in just over three years was truly a joy!  When we were done a phase with son three, we were done with that phase be it breast feeding, bottles, diapers, etc.... Their interests were similar and all we did was age appropriate for all three. Very enjoyable time in our lives!  Do you notice the fourth baby in the picture? That little doll and her sisters helped me a lot when taking care of the needs of son number three!  Read about her in the next post.